Taken from the Oxford dictionary, kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. As a little girl, I used to be kind to almost everyone around me. However, most of my friends viewed my kindness as a sign of weakness. Some of them took advantage of that. And sometimes, I felt terrible about showing kindness to anyone. It was because I equated kindness with love. I was not a bubbly child, so I compensated bubbliness with kindness. It was my place of safety. Every time I showed an act of kindness to someone, I would be satisfied. And felt like a little heroine. From then on, I aspired to constantly be kind to people because I knew how it made me be. At times we may think that showing kindness to someone is about the next person, but I’ve come to realize that as much as it’s about the person you are showing kindness to, it’s also and mainly about you. The feeling which comes with being kind is liberating. And not forgetting that pride comes before fall, guard your heart in your kindness.

Kindness on its own is not weakness. ‘It takes a lot of strength, dedication, and love to be kind’, John Maxwell said. It’s only fair to see what it truly is. Below I’ve made a list of some of the misconceptions people have towards kindness.

EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY

Kind people are known as being emotionally weak. That is why people are most likely to take advantage of them. For example, people would always ask things from someone they know is too kind or giving. They know that they would not refuse. One of my colleagues got very stunned one time when I refused to do something for him. He knows me to be kind. So he did not understand why I was able to say no to him. In his mind, he thought kind people are not able to say no. I understood where he was coming from because most kind people cannot stand their ground at times. To them, saying ‘no’ is being rude, which I certainly disagree with them. The truth is, ‘no’ merely means you understand that what you are consenting to perform, would not be in your favor or service. That is where the power of saying no lies. We are incapable of saying no because we are afraid of hurting other peoples’ feelings while depriving our feelings. Kind people have the power to say no with love and still make the next person not feel bad about themselves.

SEEKING VALIDATION FROM PEOPLE

Some people think other people’s kindness is a way to obtain the validation of others. That is absolutely a lie. Kind people are the strongest people in society. Sometimes we see people who look down on others to validate themselves, but I have noticed that genuinely kind people believe in themselves. They do not see the need to validate themselves to anyone because of the internal strength and confidence they acquire. That is why it’s easy for them to offer kindness to people. I’ve always wanted my confidence to be established from the inside out. I sought and found my confidence in the word of God. I have not always been confident, but the word of God established my confidence, and I will forever be grateful. Kind people do not seek validation from people because they possess internal strength. People seek external validation because they have not made peace with what they went through. Be kind to yourself and people as you make peace with your past or what you went through.

PRETENTIOUS

When kind people show kindness to people, usually others think they are pretending, covering up their problems with kindness. Unfortunately, I dispute that. I know of several people who are genuinely loving and kind yet going through difficulties in their lives. They do not negate the reality of their life problems or what they are going through. Instead, they chose to be joyful and not to allow circumstances to determine how they treat others. I understand it’s sometimes hard to show compassion, especially when you go through something, but we should never allow circumstances to determine how we react to people. Kindness should always be a primal activity without any pretense. Kind people do not pretend, but they show genuine kindness to those around them.

There are positive effects of showing kindness to people. And usually, you show it to people, thinking there are no benefits for you. But, it has effects on those who offer it as well :
Here are some of the effects.

THE EFFECTS OF SHOWING KINDNESS

• Your level of anxiety reduces
• It boosts mental and physical wellness.
• Joy, love, and pleasure are activated.

Be kind to yourself

Kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. Looking at the times we live in, a little gesture of kindness can go a long way for someone. Show kindness to people. Remember that showing kindness to people does not mean you are emotionally unstable, seeking validation from people, or simply pretentious. Showing kindness is strength and courage. Never allow circumstances or what you are going through to determine how you react to people. Kindness is strength. It is the easiest way to keep anxiety away. Do yourself a favor and calm your blood pressure and heart rate with KINDNESS.

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Let me be kind and welcome all my new followers. You are most welcome in my comfy space. I applaud you for finally finding a safe place to be vulnerable, transparent, and honest about yourself. Be ready to flourish and to periodically confront matters which you never thought you would ever defy. You are most welcome. And to all my followers who have always stood with me, I appreciate you. You’ve watched me grow and made mistakes in front of you, but you never gave up on me and my craft. I appreciate you. You have a soft spot in my heart. Thank you so much.
Do check out some of my previous posts below.

Before you do that, what are some of the misconceptions about kindness? Have people ever taken advantage of your kindness? Let me hear in the comment section.

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