My personal Body Insecurities

Are insecurities only experienced by women? Is it just women who are always cautious of their bodies? What about the fellas? Do guys sometimes feel they looked a certain way? I’d like to know if men have insecurities, because wowwww, women, really go through the most.

On our second series with Nsatu, I know you saw it, and I would like to express our gratitude for your unwavering support. Nsatu and I wrote a collaboration on LETTERS_TO OUR_BODIES. It was such a lovely collaboration, and the response was overwhelmingly positive. It made me question if males had body issues as well. Why is it, that it is only women who always write letters, and notes to communicate with their bodies? Hahahahah. Is it true that insecurities are only experienced by females? Do men become insecure about their bodies, ‘mara’? I’m just curious because wooow, as women, we go through so much.

I was attending a funeral a few weeks ago when one of my younger sisters went on and on about how she had big legs and couldn’t wear heels even if she wanted to. She was wearing pumps at the time, so she borrowed my heels to try them on and see how they fit. She is short and curvaceous with bracketed legs. She began to notice how stunning she looked when she put on my heels.
As I took her pictures, I began to whisper encouraging words to her. Her body size is ideally suited to her gorgeous thick bracketed legs. I enjoyed watching her expression change as she grew more confident in herself. I realized I was telling her something she had been wanting to hear for quite some time. It was as if no one had ever complimented her on how lovely her legs were.

I got reminded of myself at her age when I saw her. As I mentioned in my apology letter, I used to despise my long, skinny legs.

My personal insecurities.

I, too, have a lot of insecurities.
I used to have pimples, blackheads, and white spots all over my body when I was younger. I didn’t have a problem with my entire body; the issue was with my face. You understand what I mean when I say that a person’s face is a reception for any discourse. When people speak to you, they don’t stare at your feet, tummy, or neck. They look at your face. It was something that concerned me. My face was covered in scars. I was insecure and made a point of hiding my face or staying indoors because I didn’t want to be seen.

My insecurities escalated, even more, when I was in high school. I didn’t think I was attractive. I made up for it all with academic excellence. At the very least, I’d be known for my intelligence. Confidence, in my opinion, is the most vital aspect of a girl’s life. Once confidence is knocked over by low self-esteem, the whole countenance becomes affected, and insecurities get amplified.

It took me a long time to accept myself for who I was. I tried a variety of expensive facial products but had no luck.
I got fed up that I got worse instead of better.
I got fed up with my low self-esteem.
I got fed up with not loving myself.
I got fed up with living a lie.
I wanted to see myself in the mirror, but it was difficult to tell who I was.
I got caught up in the need to be like other people.
That’s where we’re missing it, you see.
The need to be like others is costly.

Insecurities about myself sprang not only from my face, but also from my long, skinny legs, and my “cracky” voice (Can you believe it?). I’m a Public Speaker, and a Radio host (with the same voice I thought was ‘cracky’).
I had afro hair (sorry, I had a nice afro – it got chopped last year), huge lips, and a lot of other good stuff.
I felt as if God had made a mistake with my features.

As I type this, I’m struck by how bizarre those thoughts were. How could I have thought a lady as attractive, gorgeous, and magnificent as myself was ugly? Was it true slim, well-groomed, stylish, sophisticated woman like myself was unattractive? I’m in awe of the lies I convinced myself were true.

“Enough was enough!” I said to myself.
I learned to love and accept myself just as I was. At the time, I still had all the scars, wounds, and blemishes, but I adored myself. I looked at myself differently. I dealt with the marks and my skin is as flawless as it can ever be.
I began to get affection from others the more I looked at myself with love.
And let me tell you something you may not be aware of: NO ONE CARES ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK!! Yes, this is true!!
You may be there, caring about people who don’t care about you. And, to be honest, you’ll find that they have accepted you exactly as you are.

Allowing your insecurities to keep you from enjoying your most beautiful, inner truest self is something I would like to encourage you with. Insecurities are a poison that causes you to believe false information about yourself. You are stunning just the way you are. Embrace who you are.

Women, please share your experiences with body insecurities.
Is it just me that believes males don’t have insecurities? Male folks, do you have any insecurities, or are we the only ones who have them?

Let me know what you think in the comments area.

NB: I’m looking for men who are willing to open up about their body issues on my blog. This will assist and liberate a large number of males from feeling alone. If you are willing to share, please drop me an email at for further communication. Thank you very much!!!

From my heart to yours


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