Have You Forgiven YOURSELF??

Forgiveness is not as plain sailing as its made out to be. Previously I took you through some of my experiences and how they shaped me into who I am and how forgiveness got cultivated in me. It took me years to learn the art of forgiving and its still work in progress.

As much as we emphasize forgiving other people for the wrong they’ve done to us, the most important question is “Have You Forgiven YOURSELF??”

Allow me to say that forgiving yourself of your past mistakes and blunders plays a huge role into freeing you from the bondage and enslavement you had to endure for dar too long. When you fail forgive, you hindering yourself from living a peaceful life.

Condemnation and guilt will rob you of peace and a contented life.

I’ve learnt a lot from a drama series on SABC1 titled Makoti. There was a certain sister in the church who wanted to split the Pastor’s marriage, to be married to him. She went ahead and dug of the wife’s past life. She found a video of the Pastor’s wife in a strip club. Something which looked like she was a bawd and prostitute.

She showed it to the Pastor and some of the church members. To what she thought would do them part, it actually surprised her. The husband knew about it because she was honest from the word go.

Am not married yet, but let me give you this advice : When you get into marriage, make sure you make honesty and vulnerability your primal priority about your past. Make it a point that you let your partner know of some of your wrong choices, from the beginning. Just so when people like this lady comes crawling in your marriage to destroy it, they should find no entry to condemn you of what you’ve done. They should be embarrassed on the grounds that you already informed your partner of your past life.

The Pastor’s wife had already told her husband of her past life. She had dealt with her mistakes and forgave herself. When the elders showed her the video, she was far from being shameful. Instead she told them it was her old self, she has changed and that person was long buried no longer existed. God forgave her and she forgave herself. Had she not forgiven herself, she would have been buried with shame and resentment.

It was not long after the whole incident that she was ordained as the church leader despite of what she had done. That’s what happens when you confront and come to terms with your past. Elevation takes place. You walk with a different posture, chin and chest held high and all. You live with a clear conscience.

People will always judge you of your past, but you need to take a decision and forgive yourself because the Lord Jesus died for you on the cross and washed all your sins. No need to be taken through the guilt trip. The most important fact is to be open and vulnerable before God.

I used to be ashamed of my own flaws, to an extend that whenever am reminded, I’d feel miserable because I have not forgiven myself. I’ve always known that the Lord have forgiven me, it was up to me to receive it. Sadly I wanted to forget about everything and move on without any confrontation and never genuinely forgave myself. I never wanted to be reminded of my own toxic decisions.

Deep down in my soul i knew i wasn’t perfect, but the fear of confronting and coming to terms with my wrong choices held me tight. I eventually started to understand that our mistakes should bring forth the best version of ourselves instead of crushing us. The Lord has a way of constantly twisting our messes into messages.

He will turn the most shameful season of your life, which you’d rather sweep under the carpet, into a great message to the world. Your purpose will come out of what you perceive as a mess. I basically learnt a lot from my worst choices. All of that taught me to be eloquent and to never allow myself to make decisions based on what other people are saying. Instead to do what’s best for me and whenever I offramp and hit rock bottom, i rise and dust myself and try yet again.

This manner of a mindset will birth out a peaceful life, not perfect, but the life of peace which surpass all understanding. Vulnerability and openness prunes our characters to be what He purposed for our lives.

Do what’s best for you as the journey beautifully unfolds.

Have you truly forgiven yourself? Let me hear your thoughts.


From my heart to yours…Happiest Monday



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