Men tell us about their body insecurities
One of the toughest aspects of having body insecurities or challenges as a man is that you are not meant to talk about them. It is considered weak by society to do so. The majority of the guys remain silent about it. In my last post, I asked whether guys had insecurities or not. I realized that it was mostly women who were more insecure about how they looked than men.
In today’s piece, I invited my male friends, to tell us about their body insecurities. I am delighted they agreed because, like me, we all have the perception that insecurities affect women only. It’s undeniable that guys, too, have insecurities. I believe we can now find a balance to halt body-shaming between the sexes because we are all suffering from one thing or the other, despite our gender. The only difference is that women are more self-conscious about their bodies than men.
May their experiences inspire and motivate you!!
FIVE MEN TELL US ABOUT BODY INSECURITIES.
Evidence Mutumbu – Zimbabwe (33)
When I was seeking a girl to marry, I developed body insecurities as a result of comparisons with prospective girlfriends.
When a particular lady chose a masculine guy over me, I became less secure in my appearance and began overeating to increase my weight. But my body did not respond well to excessive eating. Another problem was that people were commenting on how little my legs were. In the end, wearing shorts in public made me uncomfortable.
The insecurities vanished when I met a woman who turned down a man and chose me instead. That is when I realized it did not matter. When overeating failed, I concentrated on becoming more comfortable with my body size.
Kato Samuel Casa – Uganda (27)
I was a small-sized boy. I was happy with myself all my life until I started dating. I remember one time, I approached a girl to ask her to be in a relationship with me. But the way she replied to me turned my whole life upside down. In her opinion, short boys are not worth men. I loved this girl wholeheartedly, and I stalked her for some years and realized she was a perfect match for me, but she did not want to be with me due to my small size. Secondly, I remember I was in a lecture room on the campus in a medical class. The lecture explained the symptoms and signs of HIV/AIDs, and he used me as an example against my wish. Ohh, I was so disappointed and lost my self-esteem from then on.
My social life came to zero degrees for a very long time. I even stopped associating with other students, feared girls, dressed in hefty clothes, and tried to eat fatty foods so that I could gain the weight that anyone admired. Thank you for bringing it up.
Kinene ‘Shadray’ Marvin – Uganda (31)
I was a small kid, and as I grew up and wanted to be a dancer, I wanted to bulk up because the dancers I admired back then were all medium-sized: Usher, Chris Brown, and most of the guys in movies like You Got Served, Stomp The Yard, and Step Up. It served as a means of intimidating opponents while also making it difficult to be picked on in fights. I also liked how medium-weight looks good in clothes. Stepping out with clothes that fit perfectly in the right places gives you that appealing charm. You drive the ladies insane.
Daniel – 30
“Rock icons have influenced my perception of the ‘perfect’ male figure. As a child, patriarchal media taught me that being muscular was the most desirable trait. On the other hand, Bowie, Lennon (see Two Virgins album cover), Dylan, Lou Reed, and others, on the other hand, made being emaciated, hairless, and toneless sexy. They were my first glimpses of bodies that did not conform to the patriarchal ideal, and they inspired me to believe that I, too, could achieve the same attractiveness without the same genetics or fitness commitment as more typical male sex symbols.”
Sean – New York 34
“My physique has always been a constant in my life—a source of self-assurance that I’ve never had to maintain.” I’m fortunate in that my genetics allow me to eat whatever I want and still maintain a healthy physique. Having a “good body” is intertwined with my personality and influences how I approach dating and sex.
“However, I’ve recently noticed some extra weight around my stomach—I assume too many late-night milkshakes. It’s made me worry if other people see me in the same way they used to, and it’s influenced how freely I remove my shirt and even how I dress. This sensation of body self-consciousness is new to me, and I find myself discussing it with my close friends more than I expected. I am experiencing a tremendous and, to be honest, rather startling concern about how I appear to others. I do not feel constrained by traditional masculinity tropes per such, but I do feel obligated to uphold the reputation I’ve established. It’s more about my ego than anything else. Perhaps it Is the same thing. “I am not certain.”
Insecurities are common among all genders. It’s okay for men to have insecurities too. Men should not allow society to dictate how they should view themselves. They are enough just as they are. If you are without muscles, biceps, etcetera, it doesn’t mean you are not a man enough.
Take excellent care of yourself and love your body.
Accept yourself just as you are, for you are enough.
What other insecurities do men have? Let me know in the comment section and encourage others.
From my heart to yours
My heart goes to all these men. Honestly though.. I didn’t think men’s body insecurities went this deep. Now I guess, lesson learnt!
And I’m so sorry for Casa about that lecturer, that was so cruel 😢
Thank you for the post, Lebogang.