My Favoured Mother
Having been raised by a woman who overcame hearing impairment (deaf), i got to realise that disability is just a state of mind. I’ve watched my mom literally overcome the worst situations in her life. She managed to raise us on her own. For years we were fed from the money she received from the government for disability grant. When they say it’s not about how much money you earn but its about how you spend it, I’ve witnessed that with my own naked eyes. I’ve watched her make the most out of absolutely nothing.
I grew up in an environment where I watched my parents not really getting along. My dad was an alcoholic and he will always come home drunk and beat my mom, even include us at times. To me that was our normal. The drinking normally occured on weekends and mostly when he got paid. He was working but my mom took care of all the essentials in the house. His money was for alcohol and smoking, that’s it. Most times he would lose jobs due to his consistency in drinking. This always got him in trouble with the bosses and guess who’s supposed to feed his habits? Obviously my mom had to. She always rescued him in everything.
When he lost his jobs, my mom had to make sure the household is running and bills are paid. He’d lend money to people and my mom had to pay it up. He would buy in credit and my mom had to pay the credits up. I’m mentioning all this to emphasis how my mom have always been a rescue in almost everything not only for us but also to a man who claimed to love her yet he abused her. There are many incidences when it comes to his abusive tendencies. There was a time which i remember vividly, he came back drunk and we got scared because we knew he’d get violent. We quickly rushed and took blankets to camp outside in the garden trying to protect ourselves. It was very cold and we froze the whole night. We were running for our lives, little did we know that God had it all covered.
I once jumped out of the window half naked, with just an underwear. I was running for my life due to the fact that my dad was attempting to hit my mom with a spade. I thank God because my mom jumped out also, otherwise the worst could have happened. All she needed was peace but it was far to be experienced as long as she was still with my dad. I’ve lost count of all the protection orders we made against him but you how the system works, protection order is just a paper, not necessarily “protection”. One time the police officers wanted to arrest her after she punched my mom on the face, but my mom refused because she was scared of the possibilities in the prison cells which would happen to him. That’s how much loving my mom is.
People experiencing abuses are sometimes brainwashed, thinking that the situation will change, until it gets out of hand, that’s when they’ll begin to take actions, sometimes is too late. If you have a loved one going through abuse, i advice not judge them especially when you constantly advice them to leave but they don’t seem to listen. The mind is twisted. They still in denial. They cannot believe how is it possible that the man who claims to love me could do anything like that to me. That’s why we always advice people to leave the first attempt the abuse happens because its definitely going to happen again.
Unfortunately abusers never change. I’ve lost count of how many times we returned home because he apologized and told my mom he will never do it, only to go back again. Until my mom said its enough. I pray for your enough moment, if you’ve been in an abusive relationship, know that your enough shall come. My mom made a decision to leave, this time for good, with no return. She found a house in the township, from the RDP programme, we thank God for South African government and we finally settled with my other 2siblings. A heroin indeed.
Let me say in the midst of all this situations occurring, i was always been a top learner in my class. A very passionate and confident one. Favour of the Lord was upon me. I have a stack of academic achievements in my closet. You know of what they say about intellectuals, they most likely to become teacher’s favourites. I became one of the favourites to Mrs Mhlongo, my Life Orientation teacher in primary. She saw the zeal i possessed, such that she enquired of my family matters. Our relationship moved from teacher and learner to that of mother and daughter. My mom taught me respect and hard work. I guess that’s what attracted her to me because she’ll tell other teachers how respectful i was. Everything I was in need of, she provided. From food, clothes, money for trips, all the fees, Christmas clothes and everything needed in my family was well taken care of.
When favour is upon you, nothing can stop you. When we moved to the new house. I was overwhelmed with joy. We literally had no idea about the flushing toilets, we were used to pit ones. We were used to walking a mile to fetch water, thus this time, there was a tap at the back of the house. It felt like a luxury. My mom had to find hers in order for us to find ours. Had she not done that, we’d still be in the same state of dilemma we were. Absolutely broken.
Multiple heartbreaking moments had occured which i have not mentioned as yet, this is a blog not a book yet kkkkk. All am trying to emphasis is she finished strong. FINISH STRONG. Your background does not determine anything. You will find your peace and serve God as you ought to and be the best version of yourself.
My mom made sure we ate, clothed, we had proper school uniform, paid all the necessities at school, paid all the bills but above all, she made sure we knew about Jesus Christ. I found the Lord and got born again then my siblings followed me. My mom wasnt going to church but she raised us with principles of God. This was the best gift she ever gave to us.
Mothers, you might not be having all the luxuries which money can buy, not rich enough to take us to model C schools, not classy enough to take us to fancy restaurants but the greatest gift you can give to your children is the gift of salvation, the gift of knowing JESUS CHRIST. Tell them about Him. Let them know there’s a greater power above them. The bible says train up the child of the Lord’s ways and he shall not depart from them.
As we speak, my mom has achieved great things in her life. She runs her race in her own lane. No competition with anyone whatsoever. I always question myself rhetorically as to where would we be if the Lord was not by our side. We would be lost sheeps indeed. Favour of the Lord fell upon her. When she got married to my father, they stayed together for years without kids. She was mocked by her in laws to be barren, but Favour said no, not My child. As we speak has three (3) healthy children, with greatness ahead of them.
She got a better job as a teacher at a special school for sign language. Let me remind you that she never got any training for it. It was just pure favour of the Lord showing off. The post was initially to become a cleaner, but Favour said no, you’ll be a teacher. We serve a God who qualifies the unqualified. She was in her late 40’s when this blessing came. She was ridiculed by the people she was supposed to work with as cleaners. They did not comprehend how possible that she be appointed as a teacher whilst she was to be a cleaner.
At first she was being paid by SGB until the Lord promoted her and she was being paid by the government. She graduated twice, her last graduation was in 2018 at 55of age. She managed to build a beautiful home for herself which is still in progress. I really dont have an escape to give up. My mom became an epitome of endurance personified. Am in my 20’s and already i feel defeated?? This makes no sense at all.
I’d like to thank all the mothers for their unconditional love and support. You endure a lot, some of you single but still possess so much strength. You do great things in your communities and shall never be recognised, i recognise you today. Happy Mothers Day. You are true inspirations in human forms.
To Dearest mom, you are an epitome of hard work, persistance and endurance personified. Thank you for respecting us. You respected us such that we have never seen any man enter your life. I’ve seen single women, after they’ve divorced, enter relationships after the other. Sometimes it affects the children negatively. Others tried their luck but she refused. Since her divorce, she decided to stay single for our sake. She would ask me about how would i feel considering that she remarries, i had no problem with that. I mean she deserves to be happy, her happiness comes first but she refused and said she’ll stay single and raise us with respect. She reckoned she was protecting our peace. She remained single and for that i salute her respect. She’s still waiting for her “One day” kkkkkkk.
🤗🤗🤗Happy Mothers Day 🤗🤗🤗
What a beautiful and Heartrending story. You have your book. Put all the stories of the overcoming women you have written about together, including yourself and you will have a best seller. REALLY!