Overcoming being looked down on
It’s very easy to look down on people because it does not take any thing apart from a feeling to have a fake superiority instead of building a bigger building, you’d rather destroy the neighboring mansion.
In the past if someone said something demeaning/ hurtful, my heart would be teary within a fraction of seconds. I did not understand why people would be so mean towards others, I still do. I would develop thoughts of negativity and start seeing myself as worthless, failure and useless. Then I realized that I was slowly falling into habit of demeaning myself. It’s then when I wanted to solve this whole issue and I told myself that I won’t let someone else decide my success, failure or capability. It was not easy initially, i still find it difficult but I intentionally make sure I avoid the remark made and to snap out of such silly comments quick.
My thought process would initiate with a lot of questions…
‘After all this time, what have I done?’
Then I munch myself for a little while and think.
Okay, there is something in me that’s been looked down on..
And for what?
Was I wrong?
Yes? Then, let me correct it ASAP!
If no. Then why should I even be bothered? That’s how I relieved myself from allowing the feeling to get to me.
I have realized that you cannot prevent what you cannot control. People will look down on you in order to put you at their level. And that’s okay. It is their personal flaw not yours.
Stay with me as I outline to you some of my observations.
Causes why people look down on others.
You’ve got to be doing something really great if you’ve ever experienced being looked down on. People can see greatness in you which makes them feel uncomfortable, such that they’ll try by all means to suppress you in order to make you feel inadequate. Notice such people and work hard strategically.
Till then remember that the best thing that has happened to you is your birth and what you’ve been purposed for.
Sometimes people have issues internally. The state of their minds is not stable. A happy person has no time whatsoever to discredit and devalue another human being. Heard of the term bullies in school? Bullies are people with deep rooted inferiority complex, they feel inadequate for the most part and to fulfill their insecurities, they try to put down others in order to make themselves feel better.
People will keep criticizing everything you do. Learn this : Critics are necessary. I take them seriously, not because i care about them, but i use them for my own advantage. I develop drive to rectify and and authenticate my work out of them.
YOU ALLOW THEM
This one is unexpected but it’s TRUE and I had to include it. People look down on you because you let them. Sometimes you give people a go ahead to look down on you. You allow their opinions to rule and take over your life and thoughts.
LOW SELF ESTEEM
Those who live a life of appearances enjoy the most looking down at others. Knowing they live a life of lies, they don’t get many opportunities to feel superior, so they use every chance they get to suppress others. No normal, confident, well rounded person will ever look down on another! You are only capable if you feel inferior about yourself.
Please note that being underestimated puts you at a strategic advantage. It automatically pulls up your socks and causes you to work hard. Keep focusedLebogang
Every problem has a solution. Here I listed solutions you can opt out in order to deal with suppression and being looked down on.
Solutions for overcoming being looked down on.
First and foremost
Examine how much of this perception was a reflection of your own insecurity. Do you worry that you are not adequate? Do you sometimes assume that you are less than others?
This is one of the things I struggle with.
Oftentimes my assumptions about others comes from me and identifying this truly helps because while I cannot change other people I can certainly work on myself.
If I skip this first step the sensation that others look down on me will follow me everywhere.
DO NOT COMPARE
So the best you can do, is to establish a system by which you can -without constantly comparing yourself- have goals and milestones to be able to remain confident in your own terms.
When the critics show up and attempt to bring you down, their words will have no influence over you, at least no lasting power.
CHANGE OF ATTITUDE
Change your attitude and start by not feeling you are less equal. You can train yourself to do that. I thought about this last night and I realized I should constantly fill my thoughts with positivity. A negative thought came as I thought about how incompetence I am and I quickly tried by all means to replace it with a positive one. I reaffirmed myself that am worth, skilled and competent. It was not easy but I was intentional.
It’s okay to walk away and continue doing what makes you happy. Remember, when people treat you badly and they look down on you, it reflects more on who they are versus who you are. When a person tries to make you feel like crap, they show you how much of a miserable prick they are. Take note.
You can stand tall by not noticing it. Remember dynamites comes in small packages.There is that overly famous phrase “Attitude determines altitude”. Keep your head on high, and let other people’s opinions and rants fall by the way side.
Their opinion of you does not change reality.
Ignorance is bliss. However, a very superficial bliss. The one in which you conform to your insufficiency and cover the gaps in your soul to not have to fill them up. Don’t cover them. Stitch them.Lebogang
LOOK THROUGH THE LENSE OF THE PERSON LOOKING DOWN ON YOU
Hypothetically, I will look at their vantage point and try to understand the lens through which they are looking at me.
I try to understand where the crticism is coming from, see the best and worst sides and use it to my advantage to better myself. Then make a conclusion of what I can gain and what could get better of me. Once in a while to get the better out of you, look downs are mandatory because sometimes a vengeful anger of having someone think less of you can make the best of you.
There isn’t any thrust and thirst for improvement unless there is some sort of a push. You will ealize that their perception says more about their faults and prejudices than about me, and I move on.
Be authentic and unapologetic. It is okay to cry at times to let the pressure off, doing whatever makes you feel happy and fulfilled. What could be the result? Who knows? Maybe things will change and some of those very ” people” will add you on Facebook. Did you take revenge? No, you just focused on yourself and didn’t care about about their opinions. They’re just there in your friends list but they’re definitely not the people whose opinions matter to you either.
KNOW YOUR WORTH
What people think about you should not affect your performance because you know your self-worth, strength and weaknesses. Nobody knows you completely, so the people who look down on you base their superiority on some kind of judgement. Some people lend a hand to help you up, others enjoy your temporary misfortune and kick you a little lower, so they can temporarily enjoy being above you. Know your worth.
UNDERSTAND AND FORGIVE YOURSELF
I believe that I am only hurt, or disturbed by the remarks of others when those words “hit” something that already resides in me – some kind of hypersensitivity or guilt or shame. If I want a peaceful inner life, it is up to me to find those sensitive areas within myself and strive to remove them. Then there will be nothing in me for those insensitive or thoughtless or cruel words to bump into. In another way of stating this, I need to understand and forgive myself.
LAUGH IT OFF
I have developed a tendency to laugh it off most of the time. I have learned that not everyone is going to like me, and people will go to the strangest lengths to make you feel small. I’m pretty much always looking for something to laugh about unnecessary matters, being looked down on in particular.
I feel pity for people who look down on me because we can learn from everyone on all walks of life. When you look down on someone, you shut off the opportunity to learn from them.Lebogang
I only take other people’s negative esteem to heart if I realize I have been behaving inappropriately. But I also remember that such persons chose to adopt a superior attitude about me and I tend to avoid them, even after I have corrected myself. If they change their attitude about me, and approach me in an open-minded way, I am ready to interact with them, but will always maintain my reserve with them.
Someday, things will turn around and these people will not even matter, you know who you are and you know what you can do, so go ahead and do the right thing. Never waste your time on negative people, don’t even waste your time discussing them, if being bullies, lowlives and rude makes them happy- you leave them that way, they have chosen that life, you choose your life, keep the faith, stay positive, never give up and keep marching ahead regardless of success or failures because even when you fall flat on the ground, you are still moving forward.
From my heart to yours
Great blog!! I feel that often when people criticize you for no reason, it says more about them than you! You can’t please everyone and you shouldn’t try to!