Public suffering
If I suffer in public, I should celebrate in public.
Unknown
The things we read on social media do shape our thinking and the way we see things. I read a post on social media from a woman who said she does not see a problem with posting about all her achievements on social media. I know it’s what most people do, but she emphasized that she would continue to share her happy life and exciting adventures simply because she suffered publicly. “If I suffer in public, I should celebrate in public,” she said. Her post piqued my interest so much that I chose to share it here to get your opinions on it.
Public suffering
We all use social media for different things, and that includes the content we post. I sometimes do post some of my wins to my feeds on social media, but at times I rarely see the point in doing so. And whenever I do that, there will be a reason for it. To be honest, one of my reasons for posting some of my wins is so that people can know what I do or a skill that I acquired, and in turn, I would like to be of service to them. I use it as a marketing strategy. For example, the only reason I would upload a photo of me arranging an event or facilitating something would be to entice clients to hire me to do the same thing for them. Understand? I genuinely do it in the hopes that others will know what I do and contact me or recommend me for a service. Have you ever received a referral for service? It’s the greatest feeling ever. It’s in those moments when you know that your name is being mentioned in boardrooms. Hahahaha.
It’s also another method of promoting my blog, just like my writing or blogging successes. We all know that social media is a powerful tool to use for marketing. Let’s say, for example, that I received a nomination in the blogosphere. I would then post that on my socials and ask for votes, isn’t it? I am aware that each of us posts for different reasons, and that is okay. The problem comes when you hear someone say they want to show people that they made it in life or simply prove a point to people.
Sense of validity
Some people post about their achievements on social media with the intention of receiving approval or validation. They would receive congratulations and a standing ovation (not literally, but you get the idea), and people would really clap for them. Whether genuine or not, in either case, it still leaves them
with a sense of validity. Imagine sharing a photo and receiving no likes or reactions. Imagine what that will do to someone with poor self-esteem. The same applies to a blogger who writes and nobody reads the work. It really does affect them one way or another. It’s not necessarily the actual goal, but there’s a sense of validity when someone reads, comments, and likes the posts.
The pressure to prove a point to people.
Just like this particular woman, who said she would post all of her wins in the open because she had suffered in public. The
discomfort, jeers, shame, mockery, and other things that come with suffering in public. People do experience a lot of things, and when things eventually come together, they may feel under pressure to prove their success to others, or it may just come naturally to them. My worry is when you make it a priority or feel the urge for people to see that you made it.
Do you genuinely believe that people are interested in what you do? What if they ignore you and pretend not to notice your achievements? Will you now enter their hallways and yell, “Mama, I made it”? You will only be troubled by it since you didn’t get the response you were hoping for.
One lady once said, “People cannot wait to achieve just so that they can have a beautiful newsfeed on Instagram.” This truly made me realize that there’s so much pressure to prove to people that we made it, especially if we suffered for a long time or in public.
Do you really need to make your lives public in order for people to know what you are doing well or accomplishing just because they witnessed your suffering and now you want them to know that you are succeeding?
I understand that they have undoubtedly been making fun of you and making you feel less of a human, but do you really need to prove a point?
Do you really need to put so much pressure on yourself to prove to them that you succeeded?
I’m merely starting a discussion in the hopes that it may enable us to view the situation differently.
Let’s talk, guys. Let me know in the comment section. You might also talk about a time in your life when you felt the need to brag about or convince others that you made it. I want to hear all about it.
NB: Thank you for showing so much love on my previous post about the story of Thomas Born without disability (3folded life). I do promise that I have more stories like that lined up.
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About The Author
Lebogang Shazzygal
Blogger | Magazine Editor | Creative Writer | Online publisher | Digital content creator | Speaker. A young vibrant lady who's passionate about women's well-being and empowerment, youth, and physically challenged people.
Hello Lebogang
hope all is going well your side. this is a great conversation. There was a point in my life where I had a very strong urge to show my enemies that I made it in life. I wanted to prove a point that I made it as they used to gossip about me and made me feel less of a human. it was not a good place to be at, but I really felt neccessary to do. ive grown now and i know that not everything is about status.
Truly growth comes with wisdom. As we grow we discover a lot abo ourselves and life in general. Yep the need to prove a point to many of us is indeed a thing. Also social media has not made it easy but I don’t I’m weshokd be pressured to an extend where we become so desperate to flaunt to people. I oray that we all rcwieve the peace which surpasses all understanding to overcome the fever of pride and showing off.
it happens to many of us. I guess we all come toa point where where we feel like we not seen. it’s not only pressure to prove a point but it’s just a need to show those who mocked, and laughed at us that we made it and got our last laugh.
I do understand your concern raised here. Sometimes is indeed not easy to navigate through life due to instances where you are laughed at, mocked, and looked down upon. I always say try to do good even when it’s not comfortable. And let’s not forget KARMA has it’s way of deal with people. Don’t make it a priority to prove to anyone that you made it. Focus on you and being the best version of yourself. Wherher you post things on your feeds or not, keep your peace.
Well written Lebogang.
There is definitely a “high” when people shower comments on your post. It helps build your self confidence.
Also, I know of people who use social media to prove detractors from their earlier organisations that they have achieved recognition elsewhere.
Nothing wrong, I would say, with either of the above behaviour, as long as it doesn’t get overpowering.
I totally agree with you mate. There’s nothing I love about blogging than seeing comments and engagements from time to time. And I do love dropping comments to your blogs as well as other❤
I think there was a time in my life where I needed people from my previous job to see that I got recognition somewhere and doing well😅😅 I found that normal though…I later stopped and understood that it was not worth it. I don’t judge those who do it. I just don’t prefer it myself.
I loved what you said, “……as long as it doesn’t get overpowering”. Thank you so much mate.
It happens so often. Thank you for sharing!
And thank you for passing by
I think if you want to succeed, do it for yourself not to prove others wrong. When you try to make your wins public for the sake of showing off to your haters it won’t make you truly happy. Instead, focus that energy on yourself and being the best version of you. The best revenge is to not respond to the hate and keep being happy. At least that’s how I feel as someone who spends a lot of time on social media because of my job. Great post, really got us thinking.
“…the best revenge is to not respond to hate, and keep being happy”
You’ve said it a mouthful.
And you’ve raised something which I was not aware of, about those of us whose jobs require that we be on social media all the time. It truly makes sense. As long as one is happy and content, then why not?
You really got us thinking on this one. I can definitely recall a time in my life where I felt a very strong urge to show and prove to some of my friends who abodoned me for not having much. I wanted them to see and now that I made it and I’m doing well. It doesn’t always happen but its there and it exists.
You are a great conversationalist. Keep it up.
The pain of being rejected and abandoned at a time when you are down and out is too much. I’m sorry you had to experience that. However, I’m also glad you pulled yourself out of the gutter and did something for yourself. There is no need to show them you made it. AS LONG YOU ARE HAPPY and content with what you have. KARMA has a way of dealing with people. Those who laughed and mocked you when you needed them most will see your blessings even if you do not flaunt them. Some will even come and apologize for what they did to you.
I believe that posting on social media is by choice which should be guided by discretion too.
Personally, I am one who posts a lot because I love to share my stories but there is a reason for it.
I share these so that people who follow me will know that we all face struggles and challenges in various ways, irrespective of who we are. But what is most important is out ability to stay strong, be consistent in giving out best and the reward will come.
So in the long run, there is a purpose for me sharing, to inspire, motivate and encourage.
Now, I think this is what is most important, having a good motive and purpose for what you share.
In all of it, we should be wise to know when to draw the line. Some things shouldn’t be post though.
Nice write up!
Hi sissy
It is indeed by choice and there’s no formula in place on what to put up on the socials. As long as one is comfortable, I don’t see any problem. I’m glad you also mentioned posting for a reason. One of the reasons you gave was that you love sharing with people stories about challenges we face daily and encouraging them to know that they are not alone.
And indeed drawing the line is important however I could be wrong, but I think it’s difficult for creatives to draw the line. We love oversharing on our blogs, you tubes, podcasts, etc. We just have to find balance. Hahaha hahaha.
Buen aporte. Un cordial saludo desde el sur de España.
Thank you so much
Great post.
Well researched too.
We have different social media goals but I think we should exercise discretion.
There is also a lot of abuse of the social media.
We should create platforms and friendships to share certain things instead of social media, that’s my view alright😜😜😜
I have seen people who are broken and failing to deal with heart breaks on social media, I think that’s not healthy.
My advice is to check the motive first .
Do you know celebrities have social media managers who check their posts to protect their images because one wrong posts and your career is gone.
Kanye has lost over $1 billion after companies canceled deals with him owing to his comments. In an Instagram post on Saturday, the controversial artist pointed out that he had lost film contracts, sports contracts, music contracts, and mortgages.
So mine it’s a call to maturity🤣🤣🤣🤣
It’s in situations like Kanye’s where you get to see how powerful social media is. It can indeed build or break you. It has also killed real relationships and friendships as people spend most of their time online. Even marriage is on the brink of breakage because of that.
Discretion for creatives is not as easy because our job requires that we always keep updated on what’s happening around us. I cannot wait to have someone to manage social pages so that I can focus on other things except social media😅😅😅
That’ll be great for me. I wouldn’t mind only having WordPress on my app. All the other apps are managed by someone else.
Maturity is indeed the lesson from your comment. Lesson learned.
Very interesting discussion point. I think on my blog I do the exact opposite – share all my sadness, losses in the hopes of normalising that a normal life has ups and downs. On my social media, I share very little of my life now since I want to be more private.
I understand the need to prove to people that you’ve made it, I had it too but with age I prefer celebrating my successes in private.
Age comes with wisdom indeed.
I think people have made it a norm to ONLY share the successes and this sometimes causes depression to those on the receiving end as they’ll only think that they are the only ones facing challenges and struggles. But like you said about your blog that you share your sadness and losses. It does help people to know that they are not the only ones and they too, can overcome whatever darkness they might be esxoerinecding. Thanks for your input sissy. I’ve missed you so much.
I feel sharing your feelings in public can cause anxiety when no one seems to care about the post but on the other hand if your post gets recognized well it gives you a high! But depends what are we looking for when being actively engaged with the public at large. So we need to be mature about our actions. As said -“Every action has a reaction!”
Oh, I agree with you. When the posts get recognition, they do raise their status. As you said, what matters is how we receive engagements from people on social media. Maturity is indeed the key to handling the pressures and hype from the public. Every action has a reaction indeed.
Hi, I am new reader of your blog and I am glad I discovered this blog. A very interesting topic. I am a dance teacher and posting online helps me stay connected to my students of all ages. However, sharing your achivements online is a personal choice. I do feel motivated when my students congratulate me. Lots of my friends from the dance community do not post about their personal lives whether achievements or suffering. But some do share their struggles as an artist or as a person with medical problems but they only choose to do that when they have overcome those sufferings. Which is also okay, I guess.
Ohh hi my lovely reader friend🤗🤗
You have a beautiful name….Ranjana❤
I think as creatives is indeed difficult not to celebrate our wins in public because we do need the constructive critics and feedbacks from the public.
And with your dance classes, you do need all the exposure and good luck with your classes and students.
Thank you for your comment. It means a lot to me. I love you
I’m trying to visit your blog so that I can read your posts, nothing is showing. Is there a way to get there??
What a good thread. Your post had me reflecting that, while growing up and through most of my adulthood, I felt embarrassed not by my faults, but by what I loved and cared most about. It shines so brightly and romantically, like in adventures. As I learned to write better, it became easier to share that intimate side. Perhaps good writing is the answer to public sharing? Learning how to invite friends and followers into a special place and impart a little wisdom from a hard-earned lesson. However, the main reason I post is professional. As an outsider artist, I rarely have help reaching collectors, and art is meant to be shared – that’s its identity – to touch someone out there. I could easily paint in obscurity, but then shouldn’t the paintings have their own life out there, touching whoever they can?
Ohh absolutely true
As an artist, you do need to put your work out there for people to see and admire indeed. And I don’t regard that as boasting or pride. Keep doing your work and inspire as many people.