Public suffering

If I suffer in public, I should celebrate in public.


The things we read on social media do shape our thinking and the way we see things. I read a post on social media from a woman who said she does not see a problem with posting about all her achievements on social media. I know it’s what most people do, but she emphasized that she would continue to share her happy life and exciting adventures simply because she suffered publicly. “If I suffer in public, I should celebrate in public,” she said. Her post piqued my interest so much that I chose to share it here to get your opinions on it.

Public suffering

We all use social media for different things, and that includes the content we post. I sometimes do post some of my wins to my feeds on social media, but at times I rarely see the point in doing so. And whenever I do that, there will be a reason for it. To be honest, one of my reasons for posting some of my wins is so that people can know what I do or a skill that I acquired, and in turn, I would like to be of service to them. I use it as a marketing strategy. For example, the only reason I would upload a photo of me arranging an event or facilitating something would be to entice clients to hire me to do the same thing for them. Understand? I genuinely do it in the hopes that others will know what I do and contact me or recommend me for a service. Have you ever received a referral for service? It’s the greatest feeling ever. It’s in those moments when you know that your name is being mentioned in boardrooms. Hahahaha. 
It’s also another method of promoting my blog, just like my writing or blogging successes. We all know that social media is a powerful tool to use for marketing. Let’s say, for example, that I received a nomination in the blogosphere. I would then post that on my socials and ask for votes, isn’t it? I am aware that each of us posts for different reasons, and that is okay. The problem comes when you hear someone say they want to show people that they made it in life or simply prove a point to people. 

Sense of validity

Some people post about their achievements on social media with the intention of receiving approval or validation. They would receive congratulations and a standing ovation (not literally, but you get the idea), and people would really clap for them. Whether genuine or not, in either case, it still leaves them
with a sense of validity. Imagine sharing a photo and receiving no likes or reactions. Imagine what that will do to someone with poor self-esteem. The same applies to a blogger who writes and nobody reads the work. It really does affect them one way or another. It’s not necessarily the actual goal, but there’s a sense of validity when someone reads, comments, and likes the posts. 

The pressure to prove a point to people.

Just like this particular woman, who said she would post all of her wins in the open because she had suffered in public. The
discomfort, jeers, shame, mockery, and other things that come with suffering in public. People do experience a lot of things, and when things eventually come together, they may feel under pressure to prove their success to others, or it may just come naturally to them. My worry is when you make it a priority or feel the urge for people to see that you made it.
Do you genuinely believe that people are interested in what you do? What if they ignore you and pretend not to notice your achievements? Will you now enter their hallways and yell, “Mama, I made it”? You will only be troubled by it since you didn’t get the response you were hoping for. 
One lady once said, “People cannot wait to achieve just so that they can have a beautiful newsfeed on Instagram.” This truly made me realize that there’s so much pressure to prove to people that we made it, especially if we suffered for a long time or in public. 

Do you really need to make your lives public in order for people to know what you are doing well or accomplishing just because they witnessed your suffering and now you want them to know that you are succeeding?
I understand that they have undoubtedly been making fun of you and making you feel less of a human, but do you really need to prove a point?
Do you really need to put so much pressure on yourself to prove to them that you succeeded?
I’m merely starting a discussion in the hopes that it may enable us to view the situation differently.

Let’s talk, guys. Let me know in the comment section. You might also talk about a time in your life when you felt the need to brag about or convince others that you made it. I want to hear all about it.

NB: Thank you for showing so much love on my previous post about the story of Thomas Born without disability (3folded life). I do promise that I have more stories like that lined up.

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From my heart to yours


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